La secta del partido humanista y silo
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Humanist Vampire Club

the basic formula   "we have to grow in numbers and we will spread X leaflets and Q books and we will show up with Y speech and we will hold a rally with Z topics and the goal is to be 10,000,000,000 and..."

In these lines I try to describe a thread of thought I think important when someone hears about the "Humanist Movement" or "Humanist Party" and wants to know the core that hides beneath the nice slogans and even more nice quests.

But first I have to outline my definition of attention - the most valuable thing a man can have. And Silo - the founder of the HM - is maybe one of the greatest possessors in human history of this treasure, and maybe the worst keeper of it, since he could never ever return a little fraction of attention he got from his minions back to them or to somebody else... He is nothing more than a fair-spoken and charming living dead: you give your best to him: your attention, and that attention given to him will never return: it fizzles, withers and dies within him. Do you know how this kind of charming undead is called? I'm sure you've heard of vampires... But drained human blood is somehow more easy to be replenished than drained human attention. Attention vampires are the worst members of humankind. I doubt that they even could be taken as humans. Since vampires are too mischievous: they seem to be constantly giving and giving, teaching and charming and charming people, binding them to themselves, while in fact they are just nothing but empty shells that draw away true life essence... And they are NEVER satisfied (well Señor Silo told a year ago, that he is just leaving... maybe 30 years of attention drain was finally enough? Nice appetite, I can admit...). And  Silo owes me 5 years of faith and attention... that for sure I will never ever get back. Now I treat this five years like "being hibernated", or time being skipped. I cannot do more. I'm just able to recommend others not to enter this or similar Vampire Clubs.

It is something like a Never-ending Summer University: it has semesters (half terms) each beginning with a "directive", which are roughly the same and have the basic formula "we have to grow in numbers and we will spread X leaflets and Q books and we will show up with Y speech and we will hold a rally with Z topics and the goal is to be 10,000,000,000 and..." After the 3rd or 4th semester - for a basically keen man or woman - it has to be clear that the doctrine of "development" is more or less void. What developing thing does keep repeating itself?

Equality. This is my most painful point in this grouping. I always believed that if I accept the proposals of my peers or orientor they will mutually do the same. How stupid I was that I cannot tell... And I always overlooked the little thing that the HM's organization calls itself "structure", and I'm only the multiple subordinate of some "orientors"... how nice. While they tell everyone that people in the HM or HP are equal, it turns out that this is the utmost lie... I was only a sort of battery placed into a HUGE machinery full of other batteries (the so-called "group delegates") and capacitors or funnels (team delegates, co-ordinators and so on...) who conduced the collected attention to His Majesty Silo... Who graciously pleased to devour it all. (Followed by a nice "burp!".)

What can I do with two or three books whose content is either paranoid (see "Letters to My Friends", 5th letter... Enjoy the Paranoia!) or simply stolen from other authors without indicating ANY sources? Again a nice sign that His Majesty Silo doesn't want to fiddle with mentioning other puny writing people's efforts... (I have to admit that sometimes it is better not to know the sources... They would be greatly embarrassed by seeing what happened to their writings...)

The criticism I got most frequently while being among the humanists that "I'm too intellectual AGAIN". But what the heck... What are those "seminars" about personal development, attention development, planning development and development development?! Isn't it a bit "contradictory" when you tell somebody to develop his or her attention (whose "most developed" level is the abstract intellect - as far as I know...) AND if he or she happens to have (a lot) of this kinda' attention, you instantly start to cut it back and criticize it?! (The "recommendation" was always to develop my faith... that is to believe instead of thinking... and belief as an emotion is just on a much lower level of attention than any type on intellect... ARRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.)

What can I admire in a person who has been able to learn only his native language, to accomplish secondary school (not to consider that he successfully fooled some Russians in Moscow who presented him with a DHC degree... He should have got a grade A+ in the subject of Higher Level Manipulation...) How does he dare to say that he can liberate me - knowing that I had put much more attention into studying languages, to be well educated and so on... (By the way, the infamous book titled "Self liberation" or "Autoliberación" is containing a fine falsehood in its concept - in my definition a good leader is capable of liberating the subordinates, but here it is modified in a wicked way, let's say: "just admire us, give us all your precious attention, but we are terribly sorry, we cannot fiddle with your liberty, please, DIY (Do It Yourself)."

What can I admire in a person who - upon a deeper scrutiny - appears to be deeply disgusting (just look at some photos and videos made with him... there's a LOT...). And what can I believe of him when I realize that his talkings and performances are nothing more than insatiable appetite for my and others attention, and that this attention will be NEVER used for anything else than devouring it all? How stupid I was, how stupid we were...

The only thing that held me inside the HM that there are so many good people there... Now I know that they're all lured into the "Club Vampire" to serve His Majesty, and they're all misled by the nicely sounding promises and directives spread by the minions of His Majesty... And they're no more now than a series of batteries powering a malformed machinery that will never function since it is malformed and wretched starting form its very roots...

Back to the issue: I left the movement since I did not want to be a battery, a slave and a thing to feed others who don't deserve my capacities. And there is always something good in the worst things that happen to me: now I know that I cannot be deceived again. And I can already tell real care and goodness apart from mischief and hypocrisy.

This experience cannot be compensated by something else. Maybe this little writing can help a bit, maybe not only a bit... And I'm happy and worry at the same time that I have to be the one who writes these lines.

Maybe at some future day I will find someone who's worth believing in. But these days, and the forthcoming years will be spent rebuilding myself. By replenishing my lost treasure... My wasted attention.

So, my dear Reader, keep away from Club Vampire!

"Daneeka Doc - Slavery No More"
March, 2002.  Budapest, Hungary.

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